2014: Accursed or Blessed?

(Effective today, I have retired from the World Bank Group and will no longer receive a salary. So I am reverting to the original title of this blog.)

I could say that 2014 is one of the worst years of my life. Or I could say it is one of the best.

I could say that it started with me greeting the New Year on a wheelchair with a broken leg which kept me off my feet for over three months. Or I could say that it started with the beautiful and joyful wedding of my eldest son Jog to Monica Mendoza, a very nice girl who was my daughter Anna's classmate in St. Paul Pasig and whose family welcomed Jog like their own.

I could say that, because of an unfortunate and unpleasant incident at work in February, I spent many sleepless nights in agony like no other time in my career. Or I could say that this incident paved the way for my retirement, after I negotiated a package with the World Bank which I received in the week before I turned 60 in March. It was as welcome a birthday gift as the surprise audiovisual presentation of greetings from Manny, our children, my Mom, my 10 brothers and sisters, in-laws, and close friends, lovingly prepared by Anna and James and happily watched at the Gaylord Hotel where we spent my birthday weekend.

I could say that, shortly after my last day of work at the World Bank in mid-May with my boss and my colleagues happily wishing me luck, I had the biggest scare of my life. Manny and I joined some friends from our 2000 Hail Marys group on a Baltic cruise. We boarded the Norwegian Star in Copenhagen on June 6 and spent nine glorious days visiting Berlin, Talinn, St. Petersburg, Helsinki and Stockholm. The day before we were to disembark in Copenhagen, Manny had shortness of breath so severe that, upon listening to his heart, the ship's doctor said that it sounded terrible, that Manny had atrial fibrillation, that he had to spend the night in the ship's ICU, and that he had to be brought by ambulance to the hospital upon disembarkation the following day. Or I could say that Manny's life was mercifully saved by the competent and compassionate doctors and nurses at Rigshospital (the royal hospital of Denmark) who stabilized him over eight days after determining that Manny had suffered heart failure that left the heart function at 10%; the escort nurse Tish who accompanied us when we flew back to DC; the excellent doctors at the Medstar Washington Hospital Center (WHC) who jolted Manny's heart back into regular rhythm and have been overseeing his recovery; and all the prayers and support overwhelmingly provided by family and friends who responded to my pleas for prayers through Viber, email and FaceBook.

 I could say that the months after Manny's heart failure in June were spent on:

- visits to the doctors and the pharmacies with many anxious moments when Manny's clotting time, creatinine level, and blood pressure were fluctuating wildly as the doctors calibrated his medications; 

- a trip to Austin in August to attend the wake and funeral mass for our good friend Eppie from the 2000 Hail Marys group with whom we did the Baltics cruise and who provided tremendous logistical, spiritual and emotional support to us during Manny's medical crisis but who shockingly died from complications of surgery at 63; and 

- another hospitalization in November when Manny suddenly slumped in his chair while having dinner at home and had to be rushed in an ambulance to the hospital where he successfully underwent surgery to embed an implantable cardioverter device (ICD) under his left collarbone which acts as a pacemaker to pace his heart when the heart rate falls below 60 beats per minute and a defibrillator to jolt his heart if it goes into irregular rhythm.  

Or I could say that the months were spent:

- going on a road trip to the low country (Savannah, Tybee Island, and Jekyll Island in Georgia; Amelia Island in Florida; and Charleston in South Carolina) in July with my good friend Terri who lives in North Carolina to celebrate 40 years of friendship;

- flying to LA in early August for my high school summer reunion and to bond with my two best friends Lely and Men with whom I experienced several firsts (a tennis lesson, a baseball game at the Dodgers Stadium, a stroll in the beautiful Huntington Gardens with three other high school batch mates, lunch at Terranea Hotel and Spa, a concert at the Hollywood Bowl, a ride in a Tesla and a BMW convertible) and to visit my brother-in-law Jun and my sister Cherie at the Forest Lawn;

- celebrating Manny's 65th birthday (or what he considers his first after the medical scare in June) in late August with a family lunch, and a mass celebrated by Msgr. Balbago, the spiritual director of our 2000 Hail Marys and the ICare groups, followed by dinner at home with the ICare group;

- making a trip with Manny to Las Vegas in September where he and I stood as sponsors at the wedding of Manny's colleague Rita in Far East Bank and where we spent a lovely time catching up with another high school classmate Vicky;

- entertaining Terri in September and my four high school batch mates Chette from LA, Baby from NJ, Jowie from LA, and Leo from Manila in October; 

- joyfully welcoming Jog on his first visit to the East Coast with Monica for close to a month from November to December which was spent dining, shopping, watching the NBA, sightseeing, clubbing in DC;

- meeting up with my eldest sister Tish who had traveled from Manila via LA in NYC in November to do the Big Apple for two days  (9/11 Memorial, If/Then broadway show, Brooklyn Bridge, Museum of Modern Art, memorable dinners where we were joined by a friend from Philamlife Cora) while staying at the fabulous apartment of another friend from Philamlife Hubert, and then taking the bus together to Silver Spring where she overlapped for five days with Jog and Monica; 

- hosting my youngest sister Gina and her family who drove from Toronto on Christmas day to spend three happy days with us in gorgeous weather touring Baltimore and DC, and dining at our favorite places; and

- taking so much delight playing with Joaquin and Audri, and watching them grow and bloom.

One of the homilies that is permanently etched in my memory was given by the priest who officiated at the nuptial mass of Anna and James here in Silver Spring. He likened our life to a spider web. Our actions, the actions of the people around us, our bodies and natural forces all spin the web of life. When the Lord sees that a particular action or event will not be beneficial for the ultimate good, He acts and spins the web such that it will lead us to His divine will.

When I first retired from ADB in March, 2008, Manny also had a medical crisis which resulted in the removal of his left kidney that turned out to be malignant. So when I left active service in the World Bank in May and Manny had his heart failure in June, people told me that I should not retire any more. I replied that I would not work again so I wouldn't have to retire again.

But what I believe is that God had arranged for me to retire because He knew of Manny's medical crises and I would be needed to care for him. In both instances, the medical crises happened at the time when we still had the right medical and evacuation insurance to cover the huge expenses. It was also providential that his heart failure occurred when we were already near Copenhagen where medical care is excellent. But I couldn't stay in the hospital room and had to be billeted at the patients' family hotel. Unfortunately, the patients' family hotel beside the hospital was being renovated, so another hotel was designated which was a 15 minute bus ride away. It was so difficult to leave Manny alone at night thinking that anything could happen during the night. I felt so lonely and afraid during the ride back to the hotel, and sleeping in my small and spartan hotel room. Thankfully the hotel had wifi that kept me connected to my family and friends, especially my children Jog, Tif and Anna.

I also believe that God sent me many angels to give me strength, courage and hope during this difficult time. Eppie immediately activated her prayer hotline when she learned of Manny's medical emergency and arranged for the refund of our return airfare from Iceland Air. Another friend and cruise mate Gello was in our cabin when Manny suffered shortness of breath and I had to call 911. She gave me emotional support, finished packing our suitcases, and arranged to have them brought to the ICU. Msgr. Balbago prayed over Manny remotely through Viber when we were in Copenhagen, personally when we were at WHC, and continues to pray for him. Lenlen, a Filipina who worked at Rigshospital, constantly asked me if I needed anything, ensured that I had enough to eat at the hospital, and even brought me eggs when I said that I missed eggs for breakfast. The head of cardiology at Rigshospital Dr. Finn worked with me to convince the World Bank that Manny's case qualified for medical evacuation. Manny's nurse Tish provided medical care to Manny and extended her strength of spirit to me. Manny's current cardiologist Dr. Campia at the WHC is so concerned about Manny that he asked me not to hesitate to email him even when he is in Italy to visit his mother. Throughout the year, as I went from injury to physical therapy to recovery, and as Manny moved from illness to recovery then to surgery and recovery, our family and friends were with us - praying for us, loving us, supporting us, and giving us their strength.      

And so I say that 2014 is unequivocally one of the best years of my life. It is the year when I completely felt the love of our Lord. I now know that His love is as profound as it is real. I thank Him for His love, and I thank all our family and friends for being instruments of His love.

As we begin 2015, Manny and I wish you and your families the blessings of love, joy, and peace which our heavenly Father freely and abundantly grants us if we only but know how to recognize and receive them.